Location: Toronto

Try me.

24 April, 2006


This blog, at the moment, is indulging itself in a bar of Kit-Kat.


18 April, 2006

Old is gold.

I was travelling to school on the bus today, and opposite me sat a man about 65 years old. I'm going to henceforth call him OMOM - Old Man Opposite Me. The first thing I noticed about OMOM is that he had a brace around his neck. OMOM had to turn his body to fully face another old man he was conversing with because of that brace he wore.

OMOM was cheerfully chatting away oblivious to the fact that I was observing him. "I surely wouldn't be of such a cheerful disposition with a god-awful brace, such as that, around my neck!", I thought to myself. I also noticed that a huge NIKON camera hung around his neck. A camera bag was strapped over him arm and a tripod leant against him. "A photographer of nature", he calls himself.

As the bus got a little noisier, the other man asks OMOM to speak up louder explaining that he's hard of hearing. "Welcome to the club", laughed OMOM. "I'm blind in my left eye."
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation as I spent the next couple of moments feeling stunned, amazed, awed, flabbergasted?!? However, I got off at my stop with the biggest smile on my face and a weird tugging at my heart-strings.

Here we are, the youth of today - the so-called trend-setters. We ignore certain people on purpose with the two eyes we have. We are sometimes too busy to lend our two ears to listen to a friend's problems. We think it's hilarious that someone's taken a hard fall instead of using our two hands to help lift him up.

And yet, here was OMOM, making the best of what he had.

Today, I was truly inspired.

14 April, 2006

Men. Today, I applaud you.

I've never really had a lot of respect for men. Except for my darling dad, obviously.

Now don't get me wrong. I love men! But I just never respected them. Admire them, yes. Lust them, yes. Respect them, no. That's because they've not really mastered that department themselves. When it comes to respecting women, they're dorks, jerks, idiots, fools etc. You get the picture.

I've known a gazillion guys. And they've all been in love or thought they were in love at least once in their lives. And when I ask them why, the first thing I hear is "She's so beautiful!" And they stop at that only because I'm a girl. I'm sure amongst themselves, they're discussing how she has such a hot ass or sexy legs or big boobs. BOCTAOE.

I know guys have the tendency to think with their dicks when it comes to women, but I got sick of hearing that line. And yes, you could say it's a case of the fox and sour grapes.

I've been born with a face, which I would hardly call cute, forget beautiful. And no, my parents are really not at fault here. They had the right genes. But even though the ingredients may be right, the combination has to be. It's like cooking. Your dish can turn out to be delicious or burnt. The "figure genes" didn't work out in my favour either. So, my sister turned out delicious; me, burnt.

I never really missed being loved because I had such great guy friends. I never really needed "a guy"; I had hundreds! But I wondered, would I ever be "loved"? You know, the wanted-kinda loved.

I don't want a guy who's good-looking. If he is, it's a bonus. But that's definitely not my top-5-qualities-I-look-for-in-a-guy list. Unfortunately, for guys, it is.

There are 4 kinds of girls.
1. Girls who are beautiful and have character
2. Girls who are beautiful but have no character
3. Girls who are not beautiful but have character
4. Girls who are not beautiful and have no character.
And I've put them in the order of priority given to them by guys. So falling in group 3, I had good reason to worry.

If there's one thing I know about myself is that I have a good heart. I've never done anything to hurt anyone intentionally. And I wondered if there would be a guy who'd think that was enough to fall in love with. I often answered to myself - no.

It's not even funny how wrong I turned out to be. In the past couple of years, so many guys have professed their love for me that I checked out all the latest magazines to find out if it was the latest fad or something - "Go tell that not-so-attractive girl you love her and see how funny it is!" I'm not talking about guys who've flirted. I'm talking about guys who've clearly stated that they love me. And no, they've not all been the I'm-so-desperate-I'll-settle-for-anyone kinda guys. I've had some real hotties too (There are girls AND guys (straight ones!) who'll vouch for their hotness.); guys who are not socially inept or anything. Basically, normal guys. Plus I've garnered a wide variety of fans through this blog apparently, from one who doesn't even have a clue what I look like [Hi Vinod ;)] to one who's a little young for me [Hi Shashank!!].

So obviously, these guys think that my good heart is good enough. Unless they're under the false impression that since I've not been blessed with good looks, I've been compensated with great talents, genius brains or Tarla Dalal cooking skills. No, guys. I'm just plain.

But whatever be their reason, they're there. They proved me wrong. And that's my point.

All I have to say is - thanks. I'm terribly flattered, to say the least. But above all, I applaud you. I applaud you for being able to look beyond skin and body. Hail the next generation men!!!

This is evolution, alright! ;)

P.S. - This post should be read the way it is and not between the lines. I have never considered myself any less of a person for not being beautiful. I've never tried to beautify myself. I've never owned make-up and don't know what lipstick tastes like. I love who I am and wouldn't change me for anything. Well, I wouldn't mind losing a couple of pounds though. Come on. Who wouldn't? Plus, it's supposed to be good for the heart and what not! :D

06 April, 2006

Alright. Time to change the mood out here.

Yes. It's true life gets good, bad and ugly. And mine's been ugly for a real long time now. But I guess I'll stop bothering you with all the crap because I'm sure frankly, most of you don't give a damn.

Anyway, here's a tag-like thingy I came across in a magazine. Here's my take on them.

  • I can't forget - those who've bitched about me behind my back. (Nor forgive.)
  • I am waiting for - death. (Not in a scary sort of way. But I believe that all dead people "go" somewhere and I sure would love to be with my dad again.)
  • Competition makes me - sympathetic. (Some people want to win SO bad, that I just let them.)
  • I just can't - tell you about my wild encounter.
  • Nothing works like - magic! (If I believed in god, I'd think he was David Blaine.)
  • Marriage for me is - like losing weight. (The idea sounds GREAT. Later, you realize how hard you have to work at it to be successful. But you know it's going to be worth it, and it sure as hell is.)
  • In a time machine, I would go to - any day in the past, when my dad and my uncle are alive.
  • Shopping for me is - what one does with money. (You make it to spend it, right?)
  • Music for me is - a painless teleporter. (Every song takes me to a different world.)
  • My clothes are inspired by - half the amount of money in my wallet. (Yes, I wear cheap clothes. So?)
  • My spice - Red hot chilli peppers. (Diversion alert! Dave Navarro... sigh!)
  • Success is - what is screwing up the world today. (People are so caught up in being successful that they're forgetting the other things that are more important.)
  • When in doubt - flip a coin! (It's rather amusing too when you're feeling indecisive.)
  • Astrology is - the perfect victim to blame your failures on. ("All the stars are conspiring against me. I don't think the planets like me too much either.")
  • Wild encounter - See above.
  • 2's company, 3's - kinky! (Ahem.)
  • Household chore I hate - shutting up my roommate. (Oh, it's a real chore, alright!)
  • Adventure is - doing something for the first time. (Whatever it may be.)
  • Language I want to learn - Chinese/Mandarin. (I think it'd be in my best interests to know what over 1 billion people are talking about.)
  • Gossiping is - not just a girl thing anymore. (It's even more of a gay thing.)
That's it. I'm done. You can go ahead and consider yourself tagged, if you wish.

04 April, 2006

What the bloody fuck.

Fong is one of the 2 people I click with over here on a really deep level. And I just learnt today that he lost his dad on Sunday.

What the fuck is happening? And why the fuck is it happening to the people I love? Where is the fucking justice in this world, man? Where the fuck is it? I just don't fucking get this anymore.

If anyone so much so as mentions the fucking word god in my comments section, it will be fucking deleted.

Fuck it all. No point to life at all. No fucking point.

02 April, 2006

Happy 58th birthday to the most important man in my life.

Daddy, there's so much I want to say but I'm just too choked up right now to say anything. Luckily we never needed words between daddy and daughter, did we?

All I want right now is a big warm hug and that loving kiss on my cheek with your mustache tickling me. I truly hope that I don't have to wait too long for that.

I miss you so much, daddy. So much that it hurts. I'll try not to cry, daddy. Because I know that you hate seeing tears in my eyes. But forgive me if I do.

It's so hard to go on without the one person who could have helped me through it. I love you so much, daddy. I love you so much.

Who's going to hold my hand now?

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