Welcome to Chambana, where the skies are gray, and it keeps damn raining almost every day (to the tune of "Welcome to India")
Disclaimer: All characters and events portrayed in this post are non-fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. This is not a work of fiction. It may be a work of exaggerated reality. But you will never know.
It all started with an innocent little chat Ajith and I were having about the weather. Somehow, he tricks me into planning a trip to Chambana, Illinois. How I get there is another blog post altogether, and will probably be the bitchiest rant yet. But right now, I'm feeling "flowery and rainbowy". So, using the great technology of "fast-forward in flashback", I'm going back in time to April 21st and then moving forward to 10 freaking 30 pm. (aana paana, aana paana, aana paana) Okay, I'm alright now.
I get off the Suburban Express, which it says so on the bus (no easy feat that, I tell you), right in front of Altgeld Hall. (That's a picture of the building during winter.) Altgeld Hall is the most confusing building ever (irrespective of weather conditions), and is aptly the Mathematics building at UIUC. There are actually half-floors in the building. Take a minute to imagine a half-floor in your head. Good. That's exactly how it is. The total number of floors in that building is a fraction!!! It is thus a scary-ass building to have classes in at night-time, for the chances of getting lost in there are [3.14159 times e to the power 19]! After 3 long years, it sure feels good to be back in Chambana.
Before I go further, I shall digress for a moment. For geographical purposes, there are two separate towns - Urbana and Champaign. (Yes, it's pronounced like the drink. Woohoo! Crack your puns. Have your moment. Okay. Moving on.) However, for the students of UIUC, it is just one big bloody flat town that they affectionately call Chambana. For the students who don't, they're obviously not part of the "cool crowd".
It takes another 15 minutes to locate Ajith, as he's clearly not getting ANYTHING right today. Anyway, saying that it was ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL to finally meet him is an understatement. In all honesty, it was more like meeting someone I'd met online, as we hardly hung out together during freshman year. Oh, I forgot one tiny detail. The whole trip was meant to be a surprise. Nobody except Ajith was to know about it. Or at least, that's what the plan was. Yeah, so awkward first hug later, we're back on track again.
We drive to his apartment and as predicted, his roommate, Bharat a.k.a. BK is nowhere to be seen. I've been told I may never even get to meet him, so I've prepared myself. Luckily, I know what he looks like, so if he plans to make a guest appearance while I'm around and Ajith's not, I won't need to let out my all-powerful help-scream. It's been rumoured that Ajith once left for an entire weekend to New York, and BK was completely unaware of the fact even after Ajith was back! So, that's saying something.
The living room is extraordinarily neat for a guys' apartment. But then again, there is only a TV, a set of speakers to enhance their TV viewing, a table (which is neither tall enough nor short enough, in my opinion) and 2 couches (of which one will be spoken about, at great length, later) that adorns it. I don't know how much this arrangement helps their Yin and Yang, not that I'm an expert in Feng Shui, but it sure does help the boys play their cricket with the least amount of breakage. I think it's important to point out at this juncture that the TV is NOT theirs and I highly doubt the speakers are either. At least, I'm positive they haven't paid for it.
Here's a small story about the TV. The beautiful 27-inch Apex (a.k.a. generic Walmart brand as Ajith calls it) TV belongs to their ex-roommate. He attempted to sell it to them for $85. Ajith and BK found the very idea preposterous. So, they came to a compromise. They convinced the ex-roommate that not only will they be kind enough to keep it for him, they will also take the trouble to find a buyer. The ex-roommate is adamant that the TV not be sold for less than $85. "Perfect!" think Ajith and BK, who're probably dancing the evil jig in their respective heads. The result? The TV still sits in the exact same location, moving a couple of inches here and there, only when a tennis ball is hit at it with great force and fervor, during the oft-played in-house cricket games. Apoorva, if you ever happen to read this, you've been HAD, dude. Big time!
Attached to the living room is a kitchen. The less said about it, the better. Bah. Who am I kidding? The fridge in the kitchen is one of the 3 reasons BK will get off his ass (the other 2 being The Shopping Network and nature's calls), and Ajith cooks very yummy appams in spite of negligible resources. Very impressive, I must admit. More details later.
There is a small passageway that connects the living room to the bathroom and 3 bedrooms. Of course, there is a chair right at the mouth of the passageway, because it is more important to have a stump-double (in case of a life and death need to play cricket) than to be able to walk comfortably between the living room and the bedroom. But I guess some people get a kick out of contorting their body to weird angles. There also lies a sea of cables bang in the centre of the passageway. God forbid you need to use the bathroom urgently. That explains Tuppel's aaaaaaah + body-twist routine when he had to do so!!! (Tuppel is the sorta-3rd roommate who has his own place but still lives here most of the time. More details on him later.)
The bedroom kept for me was small and cosy. I really liked it. All I'd brought was a really small strolley, so I was going to live out of the box. (I travel such that I not only put girls to shame but also guys. Or garner myself a whole lot of sympathy.) I didn't need too much room, just a bed to sleep in. I was surprised to see that there was also a full table at my disposal. "Maybe I don't have to run off to Aabha's place after all." That was my first thought, Ajith, in case you care to know.
I took a look at the bathroom and immediately demanded a substitute mug. (No matter how many years I live in this part of the world, it will ALWAYS be water over paper.) The toilet seat issue I deal with at my own apartment. So, I'm hoping I was good about it. Somehow, Ajith got himself the largest room in the apartment. Smart move. Though I think BK could hardly care less. All in all, an apartment that didn't revolt me one bit. Off to a good start, I believe.
It was now time for THE PLAN.
To be continued...
It all started with an innocent little chat Ajith and I were having about the weather. Somehow, he tricks me into planning a trip to Chambana, Illinois. How I get there is another blog post altogether, and will probably be the bitchiest rant yet. But right now, I'm feeling "flowery and rainbowy". So, using the great technology of "fast-forward in flashback", I'm going back in time to April 21st and then moving forward to 10 freaking 30 pm. (aana paana, aana paana, aana paana) Okay, I'm alright now.
I get off the Suburban Express, which it says so on the bus (no easy feat that, I tell you), right in front of Altgeld Hall. (That's a picture of the building during winter.) Altgeld Hall is the most confusing building ever (irrespective of weather conditions), and is aptly the Mathematics building at UIUC. There are actually half-floors in the building. Take a minute to imagine a half-floor in your head. Good. That's exactly how it is. The total number of floors in that building is a fraction!!! It is thus a scary-ass building to have classes in at night-time, for the chances of getting lost in there are [3.14159 times e to the power 19]! After 3 long years, it sure feels good to be back in Chambana.Before I go further, I shall digress for a moment. For geographical purposes, there are two separate towns - Urbana and Champaign. (Yes, it's pronounced like the drink. Woohoo! Crack your puns. Have your moment. Okay. Moving on.) However, for the students of UIUC, it is just one big bloody flat town that they affectionately call Chambana. For the students who don't, they're obviously not part of the "cool crowd".
It takes another 15 minutes to locate Ajith, as he's clearly not getting ANYTHING right today. Anyway, saying that it was ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL to finally meet him is an understatement. In all honesty, it was more like meeting someone I'd met online, as we hardly hung out together during freshman year. Oh, I forgot one tiny detail. The whole trip was meant to be a surprise. Nobody except Ajith was to know about it. Or at least, that's what the plan was. Yeah, so awkward first hug later, we're back on track again.
We drive to his apartment and as predicted, his roommate, Bharat a.k.a. BK is nowhere to be seen. I've been told I may never even get to meet him, so I've prepared myself. Luckily, I know what he looks like, so if he plans to make a guest appearance while I'm around and Ajith's not, I won't need to let out my all-powerful help-scream. It's been rumoured that Ajith once left for an entire weekend to New York, and BK was completely unaware of the fact even after Ajith was back! So, that's saying something.
The living room is extraordinarily neat for a guys' apartment. But then again, there is only a TV, a set of speakers to enhance their TV viewing, a table (which is neither tall enough nor short enough, in my opinion) and 2 couches (of which one will be spoken about, at great length, later) that adorns it. I don't know how much this arrangement helps their Yin and Yang, not that I'm an expert in Feng Shui, but it sure does help the boys play their cricket with the least amount of breakage. I think it's important to point out at this juncture that the TV is NOT theirs and I highly doubt the speakers are either. At least, I'm positive they haven't paid for it.
Here's a small story about the TV. The beautiful 27-inch Apex (a.k.a. generic Walmart brand as Ajith calls it) TV belongs to their ex-roommate. He attempted to sell it to them for $85. Ajith and BK found the very idea preposterous. So, they came to a compromise. They convinced the ex-roommate that not only will they be kind enough to keep it for him, they will also take the trouble to find a buyer. The ex-roommate is adamant that the TV not be sold for less than $85. "Perfect!" think Ajith and BK, who're probably dancing the evil jig in their respective heads. The result? The TV still sits in the exact same location, moving a couple of inches here and there, only when a tennis ball is hit at it with great force and fervor, during the oft-played in-house cricket games. Apoorva, if you ever happen to read this, you've been HAD, dude. Big time!
Attached to the living room is a kitchen. The less said about it, the better. Bah. Who am I kidding? The fridge in the kitchen is one of the 3 reasons BK will get off his ass (the other 2 being The Shopping Network and nature's calls), and Ajith cooks very yummy appams in spite of negligible resources. Very impressive, I must admit. More details later.
There is a small passageway that connects the living room to the bathroom and 3 bedrooms. Of course, there is a chair right at the mouth of the passageway, because it is more important to have a stump-double (in case of a life and death need to play cricket) than to be able to walk comfortably between the living room and the bedroom. But I guess some people get a kick out of contorting their body to weird angles. There also lies a sea of cables bang in the centre of the passageway. God forbid you need to use the bathroom urgently. That explains Tuppel's aaaaaaah + body-twist routine when he had to do so!!! (Tuppel is the sorta-3rd roommate who has his own place but still lives here most of the time. More details on him later.)
The bedroom kept for me was small and cosy. I really liked it. All I'd brought was a really small strolley, so I was going to live out of the box. (I travel such that I not only put girls to shame but also guys. Or garner myself a whole lot of sympathy.) I didn't need too much room, just a bed to sleep in. I was surprised to see that there was also a full table at my disposal. "Maybe I don't have to run off to Aabha's place after all." That was my first thought, Ajith, in case you care to know.I took a look at the bathroom and immediately demanded a substitute mug. (No matter how many years I live in this part of the world, it will ALWAYS be water over paper.) The toilet seat issue I deal with at my own apartment. So, I'm hoping I was good about it. Somehow, Ajith got himself the largest room in the apartment. Smart move. Though I think BK could hardly care less. All in all, an apartment that didn't revolt me one bit. Off to a good start, I believe.
It was now time for THE PLAN.
To be continued...
reviewed by LovingAndLosing @ 4:59 AM
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